Well, it’s a mix of feelings. But mostly positive.
I have been living very comfortably for the longest time that I probably have not taken time to appreciate the small things. For the past 2 months, everything haunted me. Now I do my laundry. Well there’s a washing machine but the fact that you’d have to worry about it and actually set time for it is something new to me. Plus, I have very limited clothes here so I find myself wearing the same shirt after 2 weeks (I know this is vanity). And did I mention I had to iron them all. I don’t know how to properly iron clothes. And the cooking, well let’s just say that cooking was non-existent in my life in Manila. I wake up and there’s breakfast. I go home after a stressful day and there’s a hot, delicious, Filipino dinner. Now, I have to wake up and feed myself and thus lengthen my time to prepare for the office. When I come home, I have to cook. Just the fact that I have to decide what food I need to eat, and then realize the constraint that I have very few options because I only know a few dishes and all of them are fried, is exhausting in a different level. The friends, loved ones and family part is the hardest. I miss them all. I go home to an emotionally empty house (of course I have my room mate with me) and I hope that my family, friends and GG goes online on my weekday nights. I so appreciate their effort to reach out and keep it all rolling as if I was just by their side.
On the other end, living alone has changed me. I joke around the people here that I’ve never really left home all my life. But now that I did, it’s oceans and oceans away and it’s for half a year. What a way to introduce me to the lifestyle of living alone. Living “alone” in a foreign land made me realize that I still have a lot of things to accomplish and that the world is bigger than how I thought it was. I like the having my own place and the fact that everything here in downtown Chicago is near from everything else. I do not need to worry about being late or being stuck in traffic because I can walk to get all my basic needs. Plus the transportation system here is so organized that it’s not scary to go to a new place. Just look it up online and you’re set. For some reason, I also love buying groceries. Not really sure why but I enjoy getting things that I want and going through all the aisles in the grocery. It’s almost therapeutic. Meeting new people has also been awesome. I got to meet a lot of people. both Filipinos and Americans and have started promising friendships with some of them. I even have a regular group here that I hang out with. One thing I enjoy about this assignment also is shopping. I am officially building a shoe empire. Haha! Things are relatively cheap that I have to stop myself from buying and depleting my allowance. In effect, the formula is easy – loneliness in weekends is combated by time with friends + shopping. This formula has kept my sanity and saved my life a couple of times. Hehe. Lastly, the best aspect I enjoy about living “alone” is just living alone – being comfortable with just myself, having the time to think, directing my time and having lots of time doing nothing and everything in life. Most of my friends can attest to how spread thin my time was when I was in Manila. Between work, service, family, relationship, friends and sports, I was always in the go. Now, most of them are obviously not here so I enjoy a simple 2-hour jog on a Saturday morning followed by big breakfast at McDonalds and a nice warm bath after.
the journey so far is a learning experience….
