Last Saturday when I attended SFC’s last major gathering for the year, SFC UP, I noticed a few things that sort of got me thinking. First, there were only a few of us who attended it considering that this is a major event in the community. Nine people to be exact. I wondered what happened to our chapter. That’s one topic I’m not discussing now since this is going to be quite a long entry if I choose to dwell on that. The second observation that got me to reflect quite a bit was the idea that all of my usual ‘service buddies’ was not there. Then my mind was directed to one service meeting in our Unit leader’s house where we gathered that most of our heads will be ‘away’ in the coming weeks/months. And by ‘away’ I mostly mean almost zero participation in SFC services. Let’s see, Ryan is out for more than a month for work-related reasons, Klea is going abroad for 6 months, Line will start her Accounting-related busy season again and Chin will study for the Accounting board for 6 months. So essentially, almost all my service buddies in the chapter are out somewhere. And for a minute, I couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely.
I guess most of us have this so-called ‘partners in crime’ in our lives. Whether it be a co-worker in our offices, closest barkada, fellow sports fanatic or anybody that makes a certain aspect of what we do more enjoyable or tolerable (whichever applies). They are the people that make a part of our lives more comfortable and fun. Those people that we know we can count on to be there with us even without verbally asking them to. The people I mentioned above are basically my ’service buddies’ I guess you can call us as basically belonging to the same batch, grew up in service and faith together and have shared a lot of memories in this community. All of them are my ‘partners in crime’ and all of them are or will be ‘away.’ Darn. I guess a part of me felt a bit lazy and a bit disheartened in my own stay in the community.
But like what I said in the previous 2 paragraphs, the feeling lasted for only a minute and it was just ‘a bit.’ That’s because I remembered what Jonas told me years before I was this active that I am only able to live out, apply and appreciate now. He told me “Wag kang titingin sa tao pagdating sa service mo. Kasi ang tao, nagkakamali din, nawawala at hindi perpekto. Pag sa kanila ka nag-base, madali kang mawawalan ng gana. Mag-concentrate ka dun sa iisang dahilan ng lahat ng ginagawa mo dito.” I guess you know who that is.
And so I continue with my imperfect service. Still struggling. Still trying to contribute. Still having my eyes fixed on Him. Maybe this time it will be less fun, less convenient and less encouraging. But who says it will be all flowers and butterflies? Perhaps this is just one of His mini tests for me. Perhaps this realization made me more mature, even only for a minute, even if it was just ‘a bit.’
